My eyes, head, and heart are heavy with exhaustion.

I have notes everywhere in the most random places about stuff I want to say.
They will be on here soon enough.
I promise.

Who made you king of anything?

I had a fabulous weekend.
Thank you very much.

Tomorrow is Monday. And for the first time all year, I'm dreading it.


I had an awful dream last night and I really don't want a repeat.

Anyways,
This was a pointless post.


I love Brenton.
That is all.

<3
^Gay

Haha. Goodnight!

"I'm obsessively opposed to the typical"
How's it going?
Good? I'm glad.

Today was picture day and I'm pretty sure my picture was nothing less than awful and I'm perfectly fine with that.

TOMORROW IS THE OFFICIAL FIRST DAY OF FALL. Not that the temperature is going to change or anything.. But hey it makes me feel better. Like, "hey, you wouldn't happen to know what season it is, would ya?" and just being like "oh yeah, it's definitely FALL"
Haha, excuse my fantasy.

Just a few random thoughts:

-Tomorrow is date night, what up?

- The level of respect that my friends demonstrate on a regular basis scares the crap out of me. Self-respect and respect for others just seems to be out of style at my high school, and it's rather annoying.

- Someone surprised me today, they smiled at me and I was definitely not expecting it

- I'm extremely lucky to have a great surrounding of people. Everyone from Brenton to my spanish teacher is so important to me. What a lucky person.

- I find it so fabulous that someone I haven't been close to in about two years felt comfortable enough to ask ME for advice. ME

- night night.

Person 1,
You know exactly who are because you know I love you. So much. I don't care what anyone has to say. You are the best part of my life and you make me so happy. I get stupid and silly around you like a middle school girl with a really big crush, but it's way more than that. I would write you books on how much I love you but that would get seriously repetitive and boring for you to read, haha. You've been by my side for almost two years now, ane even though I thought you left for awhile, you never did. Thank you for not giving up on me. I was patient and waited because I knew that someday,
It would all be worth it.
............................

Dear everyone else,
Some of you I love, some of you I cannot stand.
But whoever you are, thank you.
For everything.
For every amazing or shitty thing you've put me through.
Thanks.
Really.

Your dark hair across my pillow tells me I finally got it right.

Mama, you taught me to do the right things.
So now you have to let your baby fly.
You've given me everything that I will need,
To make it through this crazy thing called life.
And I know you watch me grow up and always want whats best for me.

And I think I found the answer to your prayers.

And he is good, so good
He treats your little girl like a real man should
He is good, so good, he makes promises he keeps
No he's never gonna leave
So don't you worry about me
Don't you worry about me

Mama theres no way you'll ever lose me.
And giving me away is not goodbye.
As you watch me walk down to my future, I hope tears of joy are in your eyes.

Cause he is good, so good
He treats your little girl like a real man should
He is good, so good, he makes promises he keeps
No he's never gonna leave
So don't you worry about me
Don't you worry about me

Oh, I am so happy.
Everything is good and I want it to stay that way.



I read this on Rachel's facebook and I found it interesting..
If you read the whole thing, go you.
...

"The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but
shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more,
but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and
smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees
but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more
problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little,
drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too
little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our
possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and
hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to
life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but
have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer
space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom,
but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but
accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more
computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we
communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small
character, steep profits and shallow relationships.

These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but
broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway
morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything
from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the
showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can
bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share
this insight, or to just hit delete...

Remember, to spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not
going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks
up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave
your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the
only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most
of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from
deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person might
not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to
share the precious thoughts in your mind."
— Bob Moorehead



Catchalaterrrr.

Our strength will get us far.

"You made yourself a bed at the bottom of the blackest hole. And convinced yourself that it's not the reason that you don't see the sun anymore."


HappyHappyHappy.
That's me.
Don't try to take me down with you.

I got in my first wreck yesterday.
It happens.


ANYWAYS.
Life is gooooooood.

Insane.

I've always been one to like a song because of the lyrics, not necessarily the music. Strange? Maybe. 
Anyways, I know this song is popular and whatever. But hey, it's good. 

When I was younger
I saw my daddy cry
And cursed at the wind
He broke his own heart
And i watched
As he tried to re-assemble it

And my momma swore 
that she would never let herself forget
And that was the day that I promised
I'd never sing of love
If it does not exist

But darlin',
You, are, the only exception
But, you, are, the only exception
But, you, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

Maybe i know, somewhere
Deep in my soul
That love never lasts
And we've got to find other ways
To make it alone
Or keep a straight face

And i've always lived like this
Keeping it comfortable, 
distance, and up until now
I'd sworn to myself that I'm content
With loneliness
Because none of it 
was ever worth the risk, but...

You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

I've got a tight grip on reality
But I can't let go of what's in front of me here
I know you're leaving in the morning, when you wake up
Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream

You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception


And I'm on my way to believing.
Oh, And I'm on my way to believing.
------------------------

Life in one word, is fabulous.
Just a few thoughts to keep you updated on my "life". 

-cross country tomorrow. 2 mile run in 9373633 degree weather. Very exciting. 

- I'm becoming so stressed out by the smallest things lately. I don't know what the deal is. 

-and last but not least.. If you're reading this you probably already know why I'm so happy.
The feeling of finally finding what you've been searching for for almost 2 years.. It's nice. 

Its like trying to tell a zebra it doesn't have stripes.


"If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we aren't really living."

My name is Shiloh Jenkins,

And I have a low tolerance for people telling me how to live my life. Seriously? Hence the word MY in the phrase "MY life". 
Whatever. 

Today, I witnessed emptiness from a different perspective. I saw something I never want to have to see again. 
To watch someone you love lose the one thing that makes them whole is one of the most earth-shattering things I've ever been around to see. 
I watched one of the strongest people I know become broken in a matter of seconds. 

I had a great weekend. My mom, my aunt, my cousin, and I went to Gruene to see Charlie Robison. Which was AMAZING. It was my third time to see him, and it was awesome. I fought off flocks of women to protect my tiny mother. Hahaha. 

And like always, I will tell you just how perfect a part of my life is  Yeah, that's just how it is, perfect. 
I feel good all the time even when the crappiest things happen. Nothing can bring me down. 
Well, yeah. 


"Love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker."  ~Author Unknown