Playing God.

"Call me crazy, I've been called worse.
It's like I have it all, but what's it all worth?"



Hey guys.
It's been awhile and I do apologize, but even though it's summer and you would THINK I have all this free time, I do not.

-Summer is about one third of the way over and I can honestly say, I wish it would hurry up and be over. However, I am not ready to be out of high school. If I could, I would remain a senior forever. My dad has had me looking at colleges every single day, and it scares me. I sort of have a direction that I want to go in life, but when it comes down to it, I really don't have a clue. Growing up has scared me ever since I was little, but now, it's a reality.

-I'm trying to help you, please let me. I've seen you give up everything and now I'm seeing you start to doubt your decision. It's okay to admit that maybe you messed up, and you want to fix things. There is nothing wrong with you wanting to change the way your life is going. Even if you keep your wall up, I'll do everything I can to knock it down.

-I'm done caring. I tried to talk to you, and you shut me out. The fact that you think what you're involved in is right, is your problem now, it's too exhausting trying to wake you up.

-I know I'm not perfect. I know that more than anyone. But you never miss a chance to remind me. I live with a fear that I'm going to mess something up, and it's not fair. To constantly have to worry about everything I say and every move I make is slowly wearing me out. My biggest problem is that I can't seem to be numb to things that happen. Most people, at this point, would turn into a huge wall that everything thrown their way just bounces off of. However, every time you say something, it hurts that much more. I never retaliate, because I know you won't listen. Nothing I say matters. Never has, never will.

-I wonder if you ever think about us and how we're doing.