My rock.

So. My best friend makes me feel like I hung the moon. I absolutely love love love him.

This shall be the post where I spill my guts about the history of me and my best friend. Now pay attention, this can get confusing.



My best friend is Brenton. I began talking to him on January 17, we officially met on February 6, and my heart broke on April 18.

Somewhere between February and April, I fell in love.

Yeah, I know what you're thinking, and go ahead, you can have your opinion. Just know that you're wrong. I loved him, and I still do.



On January 16, one of my friends came over and just happened to be texting Brenton. Joking around, he mentioned that I should text him later. He had no idea who I was, and vice-versa. I honestly thought that he would never want anything to do with another freshman girl, seeing that there were already rumors floating around the school about him and some girls in my grade. But I got his number from my friend, "saving" it for later.



I went to a mavs game the next day with one of my best friends, Haley. I got bored on the way to Dallas. And, you guessed it, I texted Brenton.

"Hey, I'm Shiloh, and my friend Hannah told me to text you?"

"Haha. I was kidding, but hey."

"Oh, I see how it is. You don't HAVE to talk to me."

"No, it's cool. What's up?"

It goes on.



That night he called me and we stayed on the phone for about 5 hours.

My phone died in the middle of our conversation, and I woke up to to a text message.

"Good morning beautiful."

It was bliss.



There was never a moment when we weren't talking to each other. It was a continuous conversation for days and days. Every morning I woke up to the same text message and every night I feel asleep to him breathing on the other end of phone line.

I was perfectly happy.



Homecoming was February 6th.

He picked me up from the dance and took me home. Met my parents. Stole my heart.

We began spending all of our time together.

I was falling fast, and he led me to believe that he was too.



It was perfect until the around Easter.

He began being so distant. I kept reaching out and he kept pushing me away. He told me that it was best, that I should stay away. He was dangerous.

He had always told me that he didn't want a girlfriend and I just went with it.



On April 18, at 5:30 in the morning, my phone went off. It was from my best friend, Peyton.

I won't go into details but she had found out that Brenton was talking to someone in Paradise. My heart snapped in half, I heard it.



I was so angry at everyone. Him, the girl, the world.

How could he not have been man enough to break my heart? God. My best friend had to do it.

I had always heard about heart break, and how bad it was. But I went overboard.



I compare myself to Bella in twilight, and he was my Edward. I became a zombie. I couldn't think, I couldn't do anything.

If you think I'm exxagerating, ask anyone that knew me during that time.

I slept in every single class, I began failing my classes, and nobody knew what to do with me. Nobody knew how to react.

My parents took me to the doctor because I was always tired,

and he mentioned depression.



But through it all, Brenton was there. Telling me that I was going to be oaky. I was going to get through this. He was there, he wasn't going to let me fall.



The worst part of it all, was knowing that the person that was most important to me didn't want me anymore. I had no sense of control. Everyone was making all of my decisions for me.





I lived in a nightmare for about four months.

I became a bitter person, and bitterness has become a part of me.



But through it all, I became a stronger person.



His relationship finally ended with that girl, and I was there waiting. Like I had always said I would be.

When a heart breaks, no it don't break even.

It's amazing how quickly we become clones of the people we associate ourselves with. I've always been one to consider myself an "original person" or an "individual", but honestly, it's difficult to avoid picking up habits from people that you spend about 98% of your time with. They're not necessarily bad habits, but they're just things that take away from yours and the other person's individuality. I need to work on this.


It's Thanksgiving break. Woo Hoo.
I love spending time with family. They make me feel special.

We played Mansfield Legacy yesterday, and it was my first real game of the season. It feels great to get back in the swing of things.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving. Be back soon.

There is no us.

I've come to the realization that I don't like people. I mean, I've never been a "people person". But lately, everyone, and I mean everyone is getting on my nerves, give or take a few people. But I don't understand how people can be so obnoxious and down-right stupid. I really don't like those people that feel like they have to keep poking at something that they should have let go a long time ago. I understand that you care, and that you want to be wanted, but from my point of view, it looks like you need to give up.




On another note, I miss my best friend. He needs to come over like, now.

She gets airsick.

SO. First day of "blogging". I've heard this is a great way to vent, and I heard it can get pretty intense. In case there IS anyone reading this, I'm Shiloh and I'm a very bitter person. Be back soon.