What. Is. Up?

Oh heyyyy.
I'm grouchy, and you are?

Had a pretty awesome weekend.

I went out to eat with RachelAlexandraMelnychenko on Saturday.
Then went to Granbury with my best friend.

Woke up this morning and went to breakfast and then watched the cowboys get their butts handed to them.

It is so obvious to me sometimes how much I love my best friend.
I just wish everyone else wouldn't try to understand everything about us.

Sweeet dreams.

We need answers.

I have no idea what I want.
And I know it must be real freaking inconvenient for everyone to have this big question mark in the air, but please, just imagine how I feel for just one second.

Actually, if I really think about it, I know exactly what I want.

I want to be happy.
I want my best friend to be happy.
I want me and my best friend to be happy all the time.

Is that too much to ask for?

I am alone.
And that is one of the few things that I am sure of.


What is happiness anyways?
I think it's just a word that we throw around too much.

Rules of Loneliness.

-Just wait. Wait until you hear the door close and then you can run. Run as fast as you want. Straight to the bathroom just in case you get sick.

-Congratulations, you've made to the cold, hard bathroom floor.

-Cry. Cry until you can't cry anymore. It's the best release, trust me.

-Hold up. Make sure you turn the water on, so your parents think that you are simply, just washing your face. When your water has been on awhile, turn on the radio. Really loud.

-When your throat is sore and your eyes are too swollen to see, it's time to get up. Relocate.

-I suggest the bed. Or at least a carpeted floor.

-Now, be still.

-Tell yourself over and over again that you are not crazy.

-Tell yourself that you love him, and that's why it hurts.

-I know you're still crying. And that's okay.

-When you can feel the ache from your head to your toes, just let it be. There is no way to get rid of it.

-If you're not in bed yet, get there.

-Pray, everything will be okay someday.

-Be still.

Down, you can't hold me down.

I really have nothing to say.

I hate people. Especially girls.

But whatever.
I guess it's just me, being bitter.

Whatever.
Whatever.
Whatever.



I love Rachel Alexandra Melnychenko.
I've missed our talks. It's nice to have them back.


I also love my best friend.
I think he forgets that.

She had a very pretty face.

I've realized that I am an expert at making a total fool of myself.

I hate fighting with people.
I hate when people use the f word.
I hate feeling like an idiot.

I'm being stupid, I realize that. I just wish that I had people would understand why I do what I do.


Maybe soon I'll be able to "let go".
Whatever.

Happy New Year?

Oh hey,
This is a 2009 review.
Month by month. Well, kinda.



:) January- To say this month was a "new beginning" would be an understatement. This month marked the beginning of a lot things. Most importantly, a friendship. Everything changed, and I was beyond happy.

:) February- No need to tell you what happened.

:) March- HappyHappyHappy. Enough said.

:( April- Everything, and I do mean Everything, changed. My world was rocked.

:/ May through July- Worst months every. My life was turned upside down.

:? August- Things slowly started to fall into place.

:)/:( September through December- Everything slowly got better. Things might not be perfect, but they get better everyday.



It was a long year.
I met basically the best person ever and he's now my best friend.
I lost a few friends that I used to be really close to.

I could go on and on about 2009. But, what's the point?


It was a great year, I suppose.