"I was standing all alone against the world outside. You were searching for a place to hide. Lost and lonely, now you've given me the will to survive. When we're hungry, Love will keep us alive."

Ugh.
Thinking about pointless things will forever be my downfall.

So many questions that I'm scared to know the answers to.

"I don't have time to enjoy what I have. I'm too worried about losing it."

It's now 11:42 and I'm getting in bed.
I hate being the last one to go to sleep.


So many thoughts.

ITS ALMOST HALLOWEEN :) :) :) :)
Woohoooooooooo.
Haha.

I had a great day, nothing exciting happened.
That is all.
I am happy.
And in love, no big deal.
-------------------


This is for the people holding hands
This is for the ones with broken hearts

What I'm trying to explain
Is in our lives there'll come a day
When we'll find those feelings lost in the dark

It's the fallin', the flyin'
The losin', the tryin'
It's that crazy little thing that we call love

When it comes to you
If I had to tell the truth
'Bout the mixed up thoughts my mind's been thinkin' of

It's like the sunshine
And it's like the rain
You bring me pleasure and you bring me pain
I'm in over my head
Got you under my skin
Ain't love somethin'

Cheer up my little buttercup
Your eyes are filled with reasons not to stay
Let me say this once again
Not as a poet, as your friend
The things you're thinking right now
I think every day

It's like the sunshine
It's like the rain
You bring me pleasure and you bring me pain
I'm in over my head
Got you under my skin
Ain't love somethin'

It's like the sunshine
And it's like the rain
You bring me pleasure and you sure bring me pain
I'm in over my head
Got you under my skin
Ain't love somethin'

I'm in over my head
Got you under my skin
Ain't love somethin'

Don't be stupid, you know I love you.

"The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves."



Yeah, I really don't have much to say because everything that is on my mind is way too complicated for anybody reading this to understand.

Tomorrow is Monday.
Not sure how I feel about that.

You know what sucks? Not being able to let go of things. If I could help it, I wouldn't be bitter, or jealous, or worry about a thing. I want to be able to just forget about stuff.

Sorry for the stupid post.
I have a lot to say. But like I said before,
You wouldn't understand.

I see your blue eyes, everytime I close mine;

It's that time of night when I call I can do is think.
ThinkThinkThink.
Can I sleep? Of course not!

If only I could say everything I thought.. Then I'd really be in trouble. Or dead.

So anyways.

Coach gave us these blue bracelets today and he wants us to wear them all the time. And every time we have another negative thought about someone, we take the bracelet off and put it on the other wrist.
My bracelet should be nice and stretched out in a couple of weeks..
Sad, but true. I guess I should work on this.







Ugh, bitterness. My greatest downfall.


My life is good and I just need to realize that more often.

------------------------------------------------------------
I don't know what I would do without you.
You are the best thing that's ever happened to me. People that don't know me will think I'm stupid when they read this, but who cares. You make me feel better when I'm sad, and you talk sense into me when I'm being stupid. You care about me, and I love the fact that you're the only person that makes me feel safe. You can always make me smile all the time and I can never stay mad at you, I guess you're just too cute. You broke me, then you put me back together.
It amazes me how one person changed my life so dramatically.
----------------------------------------------------------


Happiness is just outside my window
Would it crash blowing 80-miles an hour?
Or is happiness a little more like knocking
On your door, and you just let it in?

Happiness feels a lot like sorrow
Let it be, you can't make it come or go
But you are gone- not for good but for now
Gone for now feels a lot like gone for good

Happiness is a firecracker sitting on my headboard
Happiness was never mine to hold
Careful child, light the fuse and get away
‘Cause happiness throws a shower of sparks

Happiness damn near destroys you
Breaks your faith to pieces on the floor
So you tell yourself, that's enough for now
Happiness has a violent roar

Happiness is like the old man told me
Look for it, but you'll never find it all
Let it go, live your life and leave it
Then one day, wake up and she'll be home

The Fray-Happiness

Say I am, wonderful.

"Love is like a Rubix Cube, there are countless numbers of wrong twists and turns, but when you get it right, it looks perfect no matter what way you look at it."

I hate Monday-Thursday. It's the same thing every day and it's all so much too handle.
I can't wait until Friday/Saturday/Sunday.
But whatever.

I am happy. He is happy.
We are happy, together.
Please don't try to end that.

If you are a high school student and you are in a relationship, and you have a facebook, please keep your mushy, lovey dovey stuff to yourself, especially if you've only been dating for a couple of weeks and you already think you are so in love.
Thanks.




I'm tired of a lot of things at the moment.
But mostly, I am just tired.

Goodnight.

Oh, and something that's been bothering me lately.. I feel like I was prettier a year or so ago then I am today.
Who knows.

I'm gonna be here for you baby
I'll be a man of my word
Speak the language in a voice that you have never heard
I wanna sleep with you forever
And I wanna die in your arms
In a cabin by a meadow where the wild bees swarm

And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you
And I'll earn your trust making memories of us

I wanna honor your mother
I wanna learn from your pa
I wanna steal your attention like a bad outlaw
I wanna stand out in a crowd for you
A man among men
I wanna make your world better than it's ever been

And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you
And I'll earn your trust making memories of us

We'll follow the rainbow
Wherever the four winds blow
And there'll be a new day
Comin' your way

I'm gonna be here for you from now on
This you know somehow
You've been stretched to the limits but it's alright now
And I'm gonna make you a promise
If there's life after this
I'm gonna be there to meet you with a warm, wet kiss

And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you
And I'll earn your trust making memories of us
I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you
And I'll win your trust making memories of us

I'm just a person, but you can't take it.

"People need something or someone to fasten themselves to in order to reassure themselves that they are real."

Oh hey, how's it been?
Great, I'm glad.

It's awfully early in the day for me to be posting a blog and I feel incredibly awkward. But oh well.
Anyways.

I went to the chiropractor yesterday for my shoulder that has been hurting me lately. Now, I've had a history of having horrible (HORRIBLE) posture. But I wasn't expecting to be as bad as it is. I don't know how to explain it without sounding completely dumb. But basically, my spine is crooked and it's causing a series of problems in my shoulder. YAY.

Also, the drama and stuff that comes with high school girls is seriously exhausting. I don't need friends that constantly bring me and my other friends down. Seriously, some people need a reality check.


I. Am. So. Tired.

"And so today, my world it smiles, Your hand in mine, we walk the miles, Thanks to you it will be done, For you to me are the only one."

And you're the reason i come home.

"I start to feel like I can't maintain the facade any longer, that i may just start to show through. And I wish I knew what was wrong. Maybe something about how stupid my whole life is. I don't know. Why does the rest of the world put up with the hypocrisy, the need to put a happy face on sorry, the need to keep on keeping on?..I don't know the answer. I know only that I can't. I don't want anymore of this try, try again stuff. I just want out. I've had it. I am so tired. I am sixteen and I am already exhausted."

This past week was the worst week of Junior year so far, yay.
These are just some random thoughts.. Some are directed towards certain people.. Some are not.. You know how it is.

Anyways, here goes.

-----------

-I am so terribly sorry that I can't be perfect for you. I will always try my best, keep that in mind.

-If you are small and you walk the halls of my high school, beware. Get out of my way because I will, not to me intentionally mean, run you over. I have places to be and not long to get there. So call me whatever bad names you want to, just get out of the way.

-If you are a big person and you walk to the hallways of my school, I will stay out of your way, if you stay out of mine.

-All my life I've been labeled as the girl who hates the idea of having children and being married. And not that I've changed my mind, I've just given some serious thought to why I feel that way. The whole idea of a human being being basically half you and half someone else, is just fascinating. Along with gross, and annoying because you have to add in the crying and throwing up and so on and so on. But that is all, in some cases, tolerable... for some people. Now there are two main reason why I can't see myself having a child.
1)Not that I am a selfish person in anyway, but I can't see myself sacrificing my time and everything else I have to take care of a child. And that sounds worse than it really is, because I suck at describing what I mean. But all my life I've been an only child and I've never had to watch out for someone younger than me, much less dependent on me. It's always been me taking care of.. well, me.
2)Putting a child into this world that us human beings have created in something I could never stand to do. It's a big bad world out there, add about 20 years to it and see how well you like the idea of letting your child live in it..

-I can't wait to get my first tattoo! I am seriously so excited.

-When I get excited and happy, I get loud and obnoxious.. And I am terribly sorry.





I have a lot more to say but I can't keep my eyes open.
Goodnight!