And you're the reason i come home.

"I start to feel like I can't maintain the facade any longer, that i may just start to show through. And I wish I knew what was wrong. Maybe something about how stupid my whole life is. I don't know. Why does the rest of the world put up with the hypocrisy, the need to put a happy face on sorry, the need to keep on keeping on?..I don't know the answer. I know only that I can't. I don't want anymore of this try, try again stuff. I just want out. I've had it. I am so tired. I am sixteen and I am already exhausted."

This past week was the worst week of Junior year so far, yay.
These are just some random thoughts.. Some are directed towards certain people.. Some are not.. You know how it is.

Anyways, here goes.

-----------

-I am so terribly sorry that I can't be perfect for you. I will always try my best, keep that in mind.

-If you are small and you walk the halls of my high school, beware. Get out of my way because I will, not to me intentionally mean, run you over. I have places to be and not long to get there. So call me whatever bad names you want to, just get out of the way.

-If you are a big person and you walk to the hallways of my school, I will stay out of your way, if you stay out of mine.

-All my life I've been labeled as the girl who hates the idea of having children and being married. And not that I've changed my mind, I've just given some serious thought to why I feel that way. The whole idea of a human being being basically half you and half someone else, is just fascinating. Along with gross, and annoying because you have to add in the crying and throwing up and so on and so on. But that is all, in some cases, tolerable... for some people. Now there are two main reason why I can't see myself having a child.
1)Not that I am a selfish person in anyway, but I can't see myself sacrificing my time and everything else I have to take care of a child. And that sounds worse than it really is, because I suck at describing what I mean. But all my life I've been an only child and I've never had to watch out for someone younger than me, much less dependent on me. It's always been me taking care of.. well, me.
2)Putting a child into this world that us human beings have created in something I could never stand to do. It's a big bad world out there, add about 20 years to it and see how well you like the idea of letting your child live in it..

-I can't wait to get my first tattoo! I am seriously so excited.

-When I get excited and happy, I get loud and obnoxious.. And I am terribly sorry.





I have a lot more to say but I can't keep my eyes open.
Goodnight!