Listen to me.

Letters to not-so-random people.
I have to do this because I don't have the guts to say things to people's faces. I know that may surprise some of you. But there you have it, I'm a coward.

-As bad as it sounds, I've gotten used to you not being around. I don't like it. In fact, I hate it. But what can I possibly do? It's almost like it's normal to me now, and that's not something I'm proud of. I miss you more than anything, and I'll just have to live with that.

-Yeah, I hate summer. And I used to think it was for a certain reason. But I now I know that it's because of you. Seriously? All I want to do is sleep and be a normal kid and be lazy for the first summer EVER. But you will you let that happen? Of course not. Heaven forbid I have a good time every once in awhile. I decided to not play basketball this summer because of all the time that it takes. And even though you were completely against the idea, I thought you accepted it. Obviously, I was wrong.

-You are the only person that is allowed to feel anything. You're allowed to be upset, angry, happy, selfish, and whatever else. BUT if anyone else shows emotion, they get taken down. I try to communicate with you, but most of the time, you don't let me.

-I hurt, and I don't know why.

-If you happen to be reading this, go away. I'm not sorry.
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It's going to be a long summer.
I'm tired of everything. I'm tired of waking up and getting out of bed. I'm tired of picking up the phone. I'm tired of being here, with nowhere else to go. I'm tired of trying. I'm tired of being. Also, I am tired of being pessimistic. But I don't see that changing anytime soon.

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The screen door slams
Mary' dress waves
Like a vision she dances across the porch
As the radio plays
Roy Orbison singing for the lonely
Hey that's me and I want you only
Don't turn me home again
I just can't face myself alone again
Don't run back inside
Darling you know just what I'm here for
So you're scared and you're thinking
That maybe we ain't that young anymore
Show a little faith there's magic in the night
You ain't a beauty but hey you're alright
Oh and that's alright with me

You can hide 'neath your covers
And study your pain
Make crosses from your lovers
Throw roses in the rain
Waste your summer praying in vain
For a saviour to rise from these streets
Well now I'm no hero
That's understood
All the redemption I can offer girl
Is beneath this dirty hood
With a chance to make it good somehow
Hey what else can we do now?
Except roll down the window
And let the wind blow
Back your hair
Well the night's busting open
These two lanes will take us anywhere
We got one last chance to make it real
To trade in these wings on some wheels
Climb in back
Heaven's waiting on down the tracks
Oh-oh come take my hand
We're riding out tonight to case the promised land
Oh-oh Thunder Road oh Thunder Road
Lying out there like a killer in the sun
Hey I know it's late we can make it if we run
Oh Thunder Road sit tight take hold
Thunder Road

Well I got this guitar
And I learned how to make it talk
And my car's out back
If you're ready to take that long walk
From your front porch to my front seat
The door's open but the ride it ain't free
And I know you're lonely
For words that I ain't spoken
But tonight we'll be free
All the promises'll be broken
There were ghosts in the eyes
Of all the boys you sent away
They haunt this dusty beach road
In the skeleton frames of burned out Chevrolets
They scream your name at night in the street
Your graduation gown lies in rags at their feet
And in the lonely cool before dawn
You hear their engines roaring on
But when you get to the porch they're gone
On the wind so Mary climb in
It's town full of losers
And I'm pulling out of here to win

I remind myself of everything I've/We've been through because everytime I think about it, my heart sinks a little less than the time before. It probably sounds totally ridiculous to all of you, but I don't really expect you to understand.

My life is beautiful, I'm just having a hard time seeing it that way.

What do you do when you have the world in your hands, but you have no idea what to do with it?

School is over and summer has begun. I want something to occupy myself instead of having all this free time to think. Thinking=Dangerous.
Maybe get a job? Who knows.

Oh, and my hair is blonde and I'm tanning again. I feel like such a girl..

I'll be fine.

OH, hey guys.
I know it's been a few days since you've seen a legit post from me, and I'm not really sorry, to be honest. I haven't been deliberately neglecting my faithful readers, I've just been busy. However, there are only two more full days of school, and after these two terrible days are over, I will be more consistent with my posting... Hopefully.

Anyways, here goes the useless nonsense.
I have many pet peeves and I will inform you of them in the most polite way possible....

First- High school relationships. In my opinion, relationships at any stage of life should be taken very seriously and should be respected. Do I think that you should completely alter who you are as a person and revolve your WHOLE entire life around a person? No. But I do think that if you are going to make a commitment to someone and say "Here''s my heart, please don't break it", then you should be prepared to treat that person and y'all's relationship like it actually means something. "Breaking up" with your boyfriend/girlfriend, bashing (verbally AND electronically) them, then getting back together with them within 48 hours is just downright ridiculous. Now I know that this scenario applies to about 90% of the girls in my high school, and I hope they realize how dumb they're being.

Second- Friendship (girls). My best friends, and yes I mean that they are always my best friends, not just on the days that they don't piss me off, mean the world to me. Even though we don't always agree on everything and we get in dumb little arguments, nothing changes the fact that I will do anything in the world for them and vice-versa. So when girls in high school change their best friends as often as they change their clothes, I worry. Yes, I know she made you mad, but she also made you mad two days ago, and the day before that, AND the day before that. And in the matter of 4-5 days you have managed to delete this person off of facebook 23 times, call them a bitch behind their back 34 times, and rolled your eyes when they have spoken a grand total of 43 times. Sounds like a freaking fabulous friendship to me. Will somebody please let me know how I can find a friend that will do all the wonderful things for me? I mean, REALLY? Grow up and realize that you either want her as a friend or not. This also applies to 90% of girls in my school...

Third- Who am I kidding? I could go on for hours.

I hope you enjoyed my ranting as much as I did.
Until next time...

Short and sweet.

3 more days.
Maybe then, things will turn around.
Without school, we don't have anything to argue about.

High school relationships suck.
One day you love them, the next day you hate them. It must be so nice to have emotions at your disposal.
Get real people.

OhHeyHiHelloSup?

Hello there friends!
It's been awhile.. And some of you have become impatient (April..).
But I'm back! and I actually have a lot to say, so here goes.

I'm going to start by writing my random letters to random people. Some people are in here more than once and some of you losers aren't in here at all.

-I did what I told you I would do, and I didn't mind doing it. Please understand that I have nothing to hide, and don't ask for confirmation.

-I don't know what's been up with you lately, but it worries me. I want you to be happy and I want you to make the right choices, but I'm afraid I can't compromise one for the other. If me talking to you about making good decisions is making you unhappy, I'll stop. Just let me know.

-You knew it would happen, I don't know why you're surprised.

-Everything about you is beautiful and I hate that we don't talk very much. You are one of the easiest people in the world to talk to and if it was possible, I would talk to you all day.

-I respect the fact that you are protective and a little bit jealous. But please understand that I have never tried to take her away from you. Y'all
have one of the few relationships in high school that I respect, and I don't want to get in the way. You're a great guy, and I don't think you meant to hurt my feelings, but I just want you to know that I love you two together and I would never try to ruin it.

-As much as I don't like admiting it, you're one of my best friends. And it's not that I'm ashamed, I just don't want you gettting the satisfaction of seeing my soft heart. Haha. I'm sad that you're leaving me at the end of this year, I really don't know
how I'm going to get through the school day without you. You're a good guy, and while we don't always get along, I love our friendship.

-Everyday is something different with you. That's just the kind of person you are. But lately, I've noticed a difference. You seem happier and just all around nicer. You still have your moments, but I think I can handle that. 

-I miss you more than you'll ever know.

-There are so many things I want to say about you right now, but it's definitely not worth the drama that would come out of it. 

-I do what I do because it's what I want to do. Don't question it. 

-I love you. Don't ever forget that. 

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I know I'm not doing that picture thing anymore, which is just more proof that o suck at life. But whatever. Maybe one day, I'll start it up again

Goodnight y'all.

Have a twitter?
Follow me @ShilohJenkins
:) have a good weekend!

HEY.

YES. I realize that I have been slacking on my writing duties.. your point?
I've been very busy and I actually have stuff to be doing right now, but I've decided I owe you faithful readers something to read.
I also realize that I have not been keeping up with my photo challenge, and I apologize, but bear with me people!

Day 5-
A picture that makes you smile.


Now, I have a TON of pictures that make me smile/laugh. But I just picked this one because every time I'm with these two ladies, I have the best time. The beautiful woman on the left is my mother, who is one of the strongest people I know and I admire everything about her, even though she is not perfect. The beautiful woman on the right is my aunt, who inspires me everyday to be the best person I can be. She knows exactly who she is and to me, that's all a person can ever really ask for. These two women are the women that I look up to on a daily basis, and they never let me down.
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OKAY.
This has been a very busy week, to say the least.
We've played 5 games of basketball in 48 hours... Gotta love it.
Part one of our last dual credit history exam was today.. Thank the Lord.
Today was practically Friday, cause tomorrow is six flags!... Yay.

-It seems like everything has become more difficult lately.. From getting out of bed to picking up a basketball. I've been very tired lately and I don't really know what to do about it. I'm getting the same amount of sleep I've been getting all year, and this isn't even the most stress I've been under this year.. and I'm the most exhausted I've ever been. I guess it doesn't help that it's SO close to the end of the year.. I'm just ready for summer, for the first time ever.
22 days until the last day, then I'm a senior. Eep.

-I guess some people are always changing and some people never do. I can't decide which one I prefer..

-This weekend will be full of homework. Then Monday is the academic banquet.. What in the world could I possibly get an award for? Oh well, Brenton's going to suffer with me through what is famous for being the most boring night of the school year. Love that guy.

-Some people I will never understand. Never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever EVER.

-While I might complain a lot, life is good. I constantly have to remind myself how blessed I am.


Goodnight y'all!