It's time to face the music,

Okay, it's time to make a promise. From now on, I promise to write something whenever I have the chance. There are too many days that I log onto blogger, click "new post" and just stare at the screen. 15 minutes will go by and not a word will be typed. Uninspired. Blank. Blah. Too busy to notice or feel anything significant. Or at least document it. Sure, I'm happy and in love and all that good stuff, but I've been too worried about the smallest things to appreciate today. No, I won't be able to write everyday and there will still be a few days in between some of my posts, but I will get back to my old self. The me that notices the smallest details of everyday. The joy, the sadness, the beauty, and the tragedy. Bring it on. I miss the way I used to look at things. It's time to be me again.
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Tuesday is our first game of the season and it hit me the other day that everything will be over soon. Sometime in the next 4 months will be the last official basketball I will ever play. My last time to put on a Peaster basketball jersey, number 3. My last time to put on braces and shoes for a high school game. My last game with all the girls I've been playing with for years. My last game to play with my best friends, Sarah and Blair. My last basketball game. I never thought this year would come.
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When someone has been a part of your life for so long, it becomes almost impossible to see yourself without them. They become an irremovable accessory to your life that makes you the person that you are. Your other half. They are the first thing you think about when you wake up in the morning and the last thing you think about before you fall asleep at night. Then they're in your dreams. And then you wake up and they're still a part of your life. A dream come true every single day. Every decision you make involves them in some way.
And that's where it gets difficult.
When you have to make a decision that could change everything.
A decision that could put four hours in between you and the person that helps you live.
A decision that could throw the past three years of laughter, tears, and a beautiful life down the drain.
A decision that could change everything you had in mind for your future.
Future. Such high expectations for something that is, in no way, certain.
Are we crazy?
No, we're just in love.
And I guess that's kind of the same thing.
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"The good times and the bad times both will pass. It will pass. It will get easier. But the fact that it will get easier does not mean that it doesn't hurt now. And when people try to minimize your pain they are doing you a disservice. And when you try to minimize your own pain you're doing yourself a disservice. Don't do that. The truth is that it hurts because it's real. It hurts because it mattered. And that's an important thing to acknowledge to yourself. But that doesn't mean that it won't end, that it won't get better. Because it will."