I wanna go crazy, you can go crazy too.

It's been awhile.

How's it going?
It's that time of the year when everything just starts running together and every weekday feels the same and everyone says the same things everyday and they always get on your nerves but you're too exhausted to say anything to them about it.

I have a few things to talk about and they will turn into rambling so be prepared. Ha, I'm acting as if people actually read this.

First, I don't understand why I can't do well in a history class. I guess it's because it's all just memorization and I've never been good at that. I've always been really good at math because it's something you're always working at. It's in everyday life and I've always been able to understand it so well.
I have some decisions to make regarding my history class and the direction that it is going.


Second, thinking about the universe and what ia beyond any one's comprehension is terrifying to me. When I was young, I would lay in bed and think about what was way beyond what the human brain could understand. It's always been something I've been scared of. I don't know what to believe about anything anymore. I grew up in church and I will always believe that we are here because of God and all that jazz, but still, there's so much more to it than that. I've always thought about it way too much and it's always gotten me in trouble. I'm not questioning my faith in God or anything like that. I just like people to have a full understanding of what is out there and where the world is going to be in about a bajillion years.
The whole idea to me is closely linked to the whole idea of death. And yes, death is something that has always terrified me. But just let me explain. I'm not afraid of where we go when we die, or whatever. I'm scared of not doing enough in the time that I am here. We're only here for so long and I don't want my life to be a waste. I don't want to be 80 years old and look back on my life and think about all the things I should've done. The whole idea of feeling incomplete is another thing that terrifies me.
"Do not fear death, only the unlived life. You do not have to life forever, you just have to live."

I'm tired.
So topics for next time:
Jealousy.
Teenagers.
Kids.
And some more stuff.

Goooooooodnight.