One day you can be as lost as me.

Oh, HEY. What's uppppp?
I have a list of stuff I wanted to talk about so we might as well get this party started.
Here's the list (in case you wondering):
-Identity.
-Dreams.
-Basketball.
-Future.
-High school.
-Real friends vs. Fake friends.
-Security.
(I'll try to get most of this covered. Haha.)
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Okay, first, Identity.
Not a big deal really, I've just been thinking about who I used to be, who I've become, and what I'll be someday. Do we ever have a true understanding of who we are? I don't know if it's possible. Sure, I know facts about myself, like foods that I like, and music I like. But still, even things like that can change.
-I used to be happy, naive, and a little stupid about trusting people. I used to never think about anything, I used to be so carefree. I used to love singing and being with friends. At least, this is how I saw myself.
-Now, I'm still happy, just in different ways. I'm still naive, just in the "blinded by love" kinda way. I don't trust people anymore. Things happen and I learned that I just can't. I worry about everything now, I'm always stressed about EVERYTHING. But I see now that you have to worry about something or it seems like you don't care. I love basketball now and I enjoy my alone time. I've become bitter and I work on it daily. At least, this is how I know see myself.
-In the future, I hope to be happy, and surrounded by people that I can trust and make me feel amazing. I want to have a good life, don't we all? It sounds so cliche, but I just want to happy when I grow up, and honestly, I'm scared.
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Okay, second, dreams.
I had a dream the other day about something I never thought I would dream about. I don't know how to explain myself to people without sounding like one of those stupid teenagers that says "OH MY GOSH, We're gonna grow up and go to college and have 3 kids and get married and have a perfect life together!!!"
Yeah, trust me, that's not what I'm going for. I'm just looking forward to coming home to someone everyday. And yes, I'm only 16, but I know what I want.
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Okay, third, basketball.
I love it. The end.
It's that simple.
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Okay, fourth, future.
My future is something that scares the crap out of me but I'm starting to get a plan. I really want to go to TCU. I have no idea what I want to do with my life, but I think this a step.
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That's all I have the energy for now.
So I'll be back soon.
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Brenton made me listen to this song and I'm in love.
Colder weather-Zac Brown Band

She’d Take Colorado if he’d take her with him
Closes the door before the winter lets the cold in
Wonders if her love is strong enough to make him stay
She’s answered by the tail lights
shining through the window pane


He said I want to see you again, but I’m stuck in
Colder weather
Maybe tomorrow will be better, can I call you then
She said you’re a rambling man, you ain’t ever gonna
change
You got a gypsy soul to blame and you were born for
leaving

At a truck stop diner just outside of lincoln,
the night as black as the coffee he was drinking,
And in the waitress eyes he sees the same old light a
shining,
And thinks of Colorado and the girl he left behind
there


He said I want to see you again, but I’m stuck in
Colder weather
Maybe tomorrow will be better, can I call you then
She said you’re a rambling man, you ain’t ever gonna
change
You got a gypsy soul to blame and you were born for
leaving, born for leaving


Well it’s a windy road when you are in the lost and
found
You’re a lover and I’m a runner
We go round and round and round
And I love you but I leave you
I don’t want you but I need you
You know it’s you that calls me back in vain

Whoa, I want to see you again, but I’m stuck in Colder
weather
Maybe tomorrow will be better, can I call you then
Cause I’m a rambling man, I ain’t ever gonna change (I
ain’t ever gonna change)
You got a gypsy soul to blame and I was born for
leaving, born for leaving

When I close my eyes I see you,
no matter where I am.
I can smell your perfume through these whispering
pines.
I’m with your ghost again, it’s a shame about the
weather,
I know soon we’ll be together, and I can’t wait till
then,
I can’t wait till then.


<3